I’m having a birthday this month. Astrologically, our birthdays represent our own personal “new year” when the sun returns to our signs. So it’s only fitting that I make some new year’s resolutions now that the sun is in Taurus instead of on January 1. Maybe I’ll have better success! 

As a writer with lots of projects in the works with tight deadlines, I often neglect my exercise routine.  Well, routine isn’t the right word… Typing on the computer, pacing as I think through how to express an idea, and taking frequent walks to the cabinet where the chocolate is stored don’t qualify as cardio.  I made a resolution to get more exercise. Sound familiar?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a total slacker. I get on the elliptical machine and walk the neighborhood a couple of times a week. But that’s not enough to counterbalance the intake of writer’s block-calories ingested when I just can’t find the right words.

So I decided to buy a pair of those cool sneakers that promise a better workout and a great ass. They were on sale, making them even more enticing. I was really excited to try on my new magical gear with hopes of a new me with just one excursion. I stood up, instantly becoming two inches taller – which probably made me look thinner. They were already working and I hadn’t even taken a step! Then I headed for the door – clomp, clomp, clomp. The shoes were heavy and clumsy.  All I needed were a couple of bolts in my neck and a kid named Eddie and I could be in a bad 60’s sit-com.

I quickly adjusted to the weight and feel of the shoes as I started to walk. They began to feel pretty good. I was inspired and convinced that my butt was lifting with every step and I would soon look like Brooke Burke in the Sketchers commercial. About 20 minutes into my walk, my knees started to complain. Then my arches were screaming.  Loudly.  Oh dear, this was more of a workout than I had counted on.  Every step began to feel like I was walking through sand.  The shoes got heavier and my thighs began to agree with my knees and arches.  There was no magic in these shoes!  What should I do? Stop and rest, or push on? I chose to continue and be a true athlete – work through the pain. I was glad I did because the aches subsided and I was able to finish the 4-mile walk made more difficult by these new workout shoes. Yeah, workout is right.

When I got home, I checked myself in the mirror. Did the shoes work yet?  Do I have a Brooke Burke ass and can I now wear skin-tight white pants?  Not yet.  But when I took the shoes off, I did notice some physical changes – I got a little dizzy coming down from the higher altitude.

Let’s see what happens tomorrow when I get out of bed. Will my thighs hate me for my new resolution, and will I be able to stick to it?  Stay tuned!